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Post by geminii on Oct 11, 2018 11:58:58 GMT
As I alluded to previously, I went to my very first IRL Book Club meeting last week .. I had found the website last year, but it stated they weren’t accepting any more members .. I stumbled across their Facebook page recently, so kind of snuck in / joined up that way and then showed up at the meet .. Being held in a Pub and only a mile away from home are both positive points .. My first impression though, was the LACK OF BOOKS !! Not one book was given, lent or swapped between them .. I was dumbfounded really, as I had felt guilty of going empty handed .. you'd expect that when people have been meeting at a Book Club that's been running for 4 years, there would be something along the lines of " Here's that book you wanted to borrow .. etc " .. Next up .. the previous months' read was discussed .. apparently there are usually some pre-prepared questions put forward but the main organiser couldn't make it .. so I piped up and asked the Group "Why should I go and get this book tomorrow ?" the resounding response was 'Don't Bother' .. lol .. Everyone had a chance to say what they thought, good and bad, and those that hadn't finished were still asked their opinion 'so far' .. Later, when everyone scored the book, the average was still 7/10 .. some said they didn't like to score anything less than a 5 .. The people I met were very friendly and I’ve committed myself to both this months’ read (The Bees by Laline Paull) and the next meeting in November .. However, everything seems to be arranged through a MeetUp App, which is all new to me, and you have to use the App to say whether you are attending the meetings .. fair enough, but only the first 14 are ‘allowed’ to attend, you are then on a waiting list (as I am with 2 others for December) .. I appreciate with 40 possible members, not everyone can go, but I’m not sure whether this ‘hit and miss’ approach is what I’m looking for .. As I see it, if I register my attendance, I’m potentially taking the slot of a more established member .. but I suppose that's the way it's been set up When I was talking to them, it was mentioned that lots of new people had come for one meeting, never to be seen again .. Does this say more about the Group than the disappearing newbies ?? The topic of Secret Santa's was raised, so I asked if everyone was 'friends' on GR, so you gave your giftee a book from their Wish List, but a quick remark shot out .. 'Oh no, you never get a book you actually want !!' I bit my tongue, hard .. what's the point then ?? Anyway, this is all new to me, so I would be interested in your comments or insight into how your IRL Book Club works ..
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Post by josette on Oct 11, 2018 12:05:09 GMT
I’ve never been to a book club meeting before so can’t offer any help, but that all sounds very slapdash!
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peppercricket
Book Assistant
Batley Townswoman's Guild presents the Battle of Pearl Harbour
Posts: 7,075
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Post by peppercricket on Oct 11, 2018 12:08:29 GMT
Nor me, just doesn't appeal. My mum used to, just casual at a library, made some friends.
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Post by windysisters on Oct 11, 2018 12:21:54 GMT
I've been a member of two other book groups before my current one. Both of the first two I was in for less than a year but I've already been in my current one for about 5 years so that says it all! The first group was run along the lines of the one you describe, through a Meet Up website (although I don't think it existed as an App back then - about 12 years ago). Therefore all the members were strangers to each other. It was ok but I felt that people were there to meet other people, not necessarily to share a love of reading. There was no book swapping/gifting at all and nothing outside the "read" book got discussed. At the second group, this was mostly made up of friends of friends. One of the members, Sally, had put some info on a general website and that was how I found them and asked to join. I was the first and only member who joined this way and some of the established members weren't exactly welcoming. Members took it in turns to choose a book and Sally would do her best to find cheap copies through Amazon Marketplace etc. We would meet up in a pub and have a meal and about 1/3 of the time would be talking about the book and the other 2/3 about other stuff, a lot of which I wasn't interested in because I wasn't friends with everyone. Whilst I was in that group I overheard a conversation in Waitrose between 2 staff members. They were discussing arrangements for their reading group and so I asked. They invited me to join. It was a library run group, at a library in the neighbouring town. When I had initially applied at my local library I was told they had a waiting list. However, this group didn't operate such a thing because, unless the numbers got ridiculous, why should it matter how many members there are! Anyway, I joined the group and it was great. The library provided the books FOC; one of the members also wrote to publishers and got sets of review copies for free as long as some of us put reviews on line; they arranged for authors to visit the group. After a couple of years, the lady who ran the group for the library was changing jobs and the library said they couldn't host the group anymore but if we could find another venue they would still support us with books. So we moved to a pub in walking distance of my house where they have quiet back room; the pub put on pots of tea and coffee which we pay £1 each for (or of course can buy a drink from the bar). The group is brilliant. Still some members from original library group and we now have a library member of staff with us again so he brings new members along who still can't join a library group because of the dreaded waiting lists. The library produce lists of reading group sets which they have, we pass the list around and tick any which we think sound interesting and then the library provide them to us, one set per month. We never know what order they are coming in but that's ok as it's nice to be a surprise. A few people already know each other as friends/colleagues/family etc but some, like me, come on their own. We do lend/borrow and pass on books between us but we've never done Secret Santa. We've only had one author visit us since moving to the pub but I guess we are more independent so it's up to us to make the effort to contact someone. As for discussion, we usually go around the table taking it in turn to give our own personal review of the book. People can chip in when appropriate but everyone gets their turn and no opinions are argued with or dismissed. Once everyone has spoken (and everyone has to speak) we then chat about the book as a group, maybe picking up on any points raised in the individual reviews. Also, no one is told off if they haven't read the book which I have heard of happening at some groups. We love it when a book has a gritty subject matter which invites a general discussion such as mental health, grief, religion etc. And again, those discussions are all friendly with no one feeling their opinion is wrong. I love it!
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Post by janetandjohn on Oct 11, 2018 13:56:33 GMT
Methinks you are v. lucky Wendy... that sounds such a nice group.
I have only once been tempted myself, put my name down on the list to be contacted with the next book and never heard again. It was at a local privately owned bookshop, and run by the owner; but about 6 months later she sold the business and there has been no news since.
I think I will stay at home and keep on plodding through all those books I have already
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peppercricket
Book Assistant
Batley Townswoman's Guild presents the Battle of Pearl Harbour
Posts: 7,075
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Post by peppercricket on Oct 11, 2018 14:02:56 GMT
Methinks you are v. lucky Wendy... that sounds such a nice group.
It does, I'd consider joining that one!
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Post by pennyt on Oct 11, 2018 14:16:21 GMT
I don't think I'd be going back to that group, Suzanne. They don't sound very welcoming at all!
The book group I belong to has been going for almost 20 years now, and we still have four of the original 12 founding members (including me). We meet every month apart from in August, and take it in turns to host and to choose a book. There's always plenty of wine/soft drinks and nibbles on offer, and twice a year we meet in a local restaurant - in June we have a meal out to decide the books and rota for the following 12 months, and in December we have our annual Christmas dinner which is quite an upmarket affair and always good fun.
The format of the meetings (apart from the meals!) is always the same - we take it in turns to say what we thought of the book; usually by the time we get halfway round the room we head off into more of a discussion rather than stick with the monologues, but make sure that everyone gets the chance to voice their thoughts.
To be honest, our group is not particularly bookish: some members read very little outside the book group choices and admit the reason they joined is to make sure they read something (although we often have meetings where only 3 or 4 people have finished the book). We do sometimes recommend books to each other but it's not a regular feature of the chat, and we never bring along books to swap/share; but at our Christmas dinner we do have a book dip, just like we have at RiSi meets.
Because we all know each other pretty well now and have seen each other through childrearing/divorce/bereavement and other dramas, it's sometimes as much a support group as a reading group. We always chat about personal stuff for the first half hour while people arrive and settle down, and I enjoy it for that as much as for the book chat - sometimes more, as most of the members aren't readaholics and don't read very widely. But then I get plenty of book chat/recommendations/shared books on here and at our RiSi meet-ups.
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Post by geminii on Oct 11, 2018 16:22:33 GMT
Perhaps I should have stated that the Book they all had differing issues with was ..
Chernobyl Prayer by Svetlana Alexievich
Seemingly a rather harrowing book of monologues by survivors of the disaster .. I don't think I want to add it to my reading list anyway .. younger members, who weren't even born at that time, had great difficulties with it
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Post by kaydee23 on Oct 11, 2018 21:55:52 GMT
I like the idea of joining a real life book group but in reality I'm not sure that I'd be happy having to read something that I wasn't interested in when I have soooo many of my own books that I do want to read. There are a couple of library located ones around here but they meet during the day which is no good for me. Some time ago I did look at joining a 'Poppy Loves....' one that I saw mentioned locally but when making enquiries about it, the organiser wasn't very helpful at all so I didn't bother to pursue it.
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Post by adelynechan on Oct 12, 2018 8:07:37 GMT
I've never been to an IRL book club, and from the sound of it not sure I would like to either. I suppose if I had a relatively tight-knit group where we actually cared about each other, and happened to share reading as a hobby then it would be OK but I don't really deal well with the pressure of "you have to read this, get far enough to have thoughts / discussion points and then try to evaluate others thoughts in a discussion". I appreciate its a good thing, and many people do enjoy that, it's just not for me. May be because I'm also a bit shy and find it hard to speak up in a group discussion.
Re: wishlist though, I've never been one to keep a wishlist simply because it's too easy (especially with all those adverts on the browser these days!) to just add and add and add without actually thinking things through. I get the idea of having a small list of things I really want, but there are so few books that fit that category these days since I allocated myself a hobby budget. If I really want a particular book, which is rare in itself (there are many books I want, but very few that I really want), I usually just buy it. Perhaps I'm still in the phase of diversifying my reading, and this is one thing that those blinking adverts are rubbish at - they just recommend stuff that's almost identical to what I just read!
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Post by celia48 on Oct 12, 2018 8:57:20 GMT
I go to a crime book club and it's very informal and friendly. The only downside is that 2 members work so the only time they can come is 4.30 pm and, as the club in meets in our local library which closes at 5 pm, the session only lasts half an hour. The library is under threat of closure so this may change in the future.
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Post by sarita on Nov 8, 2018 8:20:54 GMT
I've been a member of a bookcircle (round robin) rather than a book group. We meet once a month between September and June. Each member hosts one meeting with tea and cakes. In June each member suggests a book for the next season, there is a discussion and sometimes a choice gets changed. Given the format we don't discuss the circle books until end of June, when we have a discussion and evaluation of all books read. We talk about other books or other things, since we've got to know each other quite well. We also lend books outside the circle.
I'm lucky that members are friendly so even if I don't like all of the books I always enjoy the meetings. Also, we read english books and speak english at the meetings.
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Post by windysisters on Nov 8, 2018 11:30:09 GMT
geminii you've hinted elsewhere that it went well - c'mon give us the lowdown
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Post by geminii on Nov 11, 2018 10:39:22 GMT
My second Book Club meet was last Wednesday, when we reviewed The Bees by Laline Paull .. There were supposed to be 14 of us, but in the end only 8 turned up .. that being the case, there were 3 new people who I didn't meet last month (including the main organiser) .. I enjoyed this meeting so much more because I was more relaxed .. Having met some of the attendees before, I knew what to expect, had read the book and was prepared .. everyone was very friendly and the book chat was focused, but also light hearted .. all were confident in putting their points of view across and polite in listening to everyone else's too .. I was in the minority as the others did enjoy the book much more than I did, but the discussion was lively and they could see my reasoning .. many of the points raised were very interesting and the more we chatted, the more I realised that I got more from the book that I originally thought .. still not converted to Fantasy genre though .. It is true what some of you said before, a couple of the attendees only read one or two books per month .. In conclusion, it was a very good evening out, lots of good chat and a laugh .. I didn't say anything controversial so I think they may have me back again .. The next book is Frankenstein, which I read for Halloween, and although the meeting is 'booked-up' and I'm on the waiting list, with people cancelling at the last minute, I might as well pop along anyway !!
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Post by windysisters on Nov 12, 2018 14:22:51 GMT
My second Book Club meet was last Wednesday, when we reviewed The Bees by Laline Paull .. I was in the minority as the others did enjoy the book much more than I did, but the discussion was lively and they could see my reasoning .. many of the points raised were very interesting and the more we chatted, the more I realised that I got more from the book that I originally thought .. still not converted to Fantasy genre though .. The next book is Frankenstein, which I read for Halloween, and although the meeting is 'booked-up' and I'm on the waiting list, with people cancelling at the last minute, I might as well pop along anyway !! As you know, we read this book at our group last month too and all but one of our group liked the book so it seems the ratio of liking/not liking it is about the same! It seems a shame that you could go to the trouble of acquiring and reading a book and then not be "allowed" to go to a meeting - as you say, you may as well pop along if there are likely to be no-showers.
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